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Forget about your house of cards. (I really think this is my favorite rh song ever)

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stress

i think i've been a stressed out person in denial. every single break, after teh intensity of the quarter, i find my self able to relax, and realize that i wasn't for the longest time. its crazy and i can't seem to explain in to myself, but i think i finally know what stress really feels like because i feel like i finally know what not stressing is. fucking school man. glad to have a break.

wednesday morning

lets fucking do this thing.
(with finals almost done, i'm as stoked as ever)

Leaving from the top level parking structure at sfo, i used close my eyes and pretend that i was on a rollercoaster

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I like visiting home when its cloudy and rainy more than when its bright and sunny.

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fading away?

its interesting to see things fade away ratehr than have an explosive ending. when ever i've thought abotu friendships ending, quarters ending, schoole nding, trips ending, life ending, i always imagine a huge emotionally filled explosive event to end them. and its curious to see things, liek friendships right now, just fade away into the grain of life. so cliche, yes yes yes, i agree. but man, when you see it happen its really crazy.

on a similar and unrelated note, is it better to a) not have it at all 2) have it in a diluted form for a short time 3) have it fully concentrated for a short time?. i can't decide, but then again if you don't have the decision to make, do you just roll with it or do you just end it?

mice parade

how can one band that you never thought was that amazing, totally own on your life? i got this band from josh two years ago.

it started with 'Obrigado Saudade'


and i had just that album for so long, maybe too long. josh, alex w-f and I saw them at bottom of the hill like one of the last weeks of freshman year. i thoguth it was an ok show, but i didn't recognize one of their songs. but they were fun i think. i don't know, i guess i wasn't down. but this year I downloaded 'Bem-Vinda Vontade'.



i hated it at first. it was so poppy, so hooky compared to the last one. but oh how the album has grown like a rotten fetus (?) on me. i'm so down with it, its ridiculous. its god great drumming, its not loud like zach hill or like math rock. its very precise and intricate at times, but he just throws teh snare drum on random beats with little fills here in there, and oh how i would love to be a drummer with a sense of time like him! its so good. the singing has gotten better across the albums. its a bit blase like quasi in a sense. emotionless, yet singing of emotion things at time. never screaming, never eally loud. just kind of talking narrating. Kria brekkan is on a few songs on every album, and they are always excellent. and there are vibs, and otehr percussive mallet instruments. i'm so down. and classical style guitar! not always, but its nylon string with gives it a very different vibe. the guy who made this band is adam pierce, and he was a drummer first i think. how cool would that be if i got on top of my shit enough to make music liek this adam does one day. i'm listening to the second album now. and it has even more electronic keyboards and noises going. i'm so down with this band! i think ya'll shoudl get on this, because its such good music that is not known about at all!!

life post

so i'm about to break down some thoughts and feelings and life right now, which i don't feel like i've done here in a while. anyways, there is a lot on my mind right now, lets make a list.



-picking up housemate and best bud Alex from the airport in twenty two hours! he's been in chile romping around in Patagonia and what not for teh past quarter, and i miss him dearly, and I'm so excited to pick him up.
-went to apply for my visa in downtown san francisco with my other housie scott thursday, and shit is getting so real with this japan thing! man, going to the consolate was liek the most miniscule taste of japan, but can i even begin to tell you how nervous and scared I am? I'm glad everyone is excited for me, because i don't think i can be at this time, which is silly to say, but what else can i say?! man, its going to be a total life changer.
-i totally feel like small town country-esque boy, especially when i went to san francisco. i've gotten so cozy and happy in santa cruz, that just beign downtown for 30 minutes wa soverwhelming. Scott and I were totally being silly and lost and people were totally giving us flannel and jeans wearing freaks werid looks and it was so obvious that were are not urbanites. yet i'm going to a pretty urban place ( i think). man, i am going to miss santa cruz for sure.

-finals? man, week 10 cashed. its time to prepare for my music theory lab where i need to sing, play piano, and sight sing too! man, hpw much music has been learned by me is too much for life I feel like. i can't believe how musical this year has been. I knew it was going to be, but i am so happy it has been. and it coudl have been even more musical, but damn, i own a fucking guitar and am taking it to japan! what?! who knew, certainly not me.
-spring spring spring. oh how love is in thy air. i love teh season so much. I am happy to see everyoen come each time. this winter has been a good one. its been rough at times, but i've enjoyed it. so cliche, all this all is, but i don't care cause its true to me. i'm excited to see the spring time come. i'm sad to miss it in santa cruz, cause it will be amazing here, as always. and i'm sad i can't let something blossom here in santa cruz, but thats ok. i think it will just have to blossom at another time. beggers can't be choosers. but maybe i'm not a begger. oh god fuck cliches.


-straight petrified about japan. one thing thats been on my mind is how american i'm going to seem slash how much am I going to be ostracized for who I am and how i'm different from everyone there. i imagine totally flipping out at people and just screaming "this is who i fucking am, don't tell me how to live my life". but is that not american? is it culturally based? oh god sociology, how you give me a headache so often. i just want to find loving accepting people in japan.
-the old friends, teh new ones, the barely friends, and the friend si wish i had more time to spend with.i will miss them of so god damn dearly. i think thats what i will most. the peopel i love here in santa cruz. that is what filsl me up, thats what makes me happy in this town.
-my life is totally going to get owned on in japan. or just my life perspective. and thats wkind of why i wanted to go to such a far away place, get soem context on my americanness, my whiteness, my life, my reality. see how other people see me and my culture and just life. oh man, who knows what the future holds!

Mazzy star

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Cocteau twins

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Slanted and Enchanted

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Crooked rain

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concert gods, why have you forsaken me!

1) beirut
2) animal collective (thrice over)
3) m. ward
4) fleet foxes
5) ratatat
6) autolux
7) devendra banhart
8) mirah
9)tv on teh radio
10) grizzly bear
11) blink 182 (?)

japan better be pretty sweet

ah yes, m. ward

One
One
One
One or two won't do
Cos I want it all

And a sip
A sip
A sip or a spoonful won't do
No, I want it all

And I hope
I hope
Hope you know what I'm thinking of
I want all of your love
I need all of your love

She said "If love
If Love
Is a posion cup
Then drink it up"

"Cos a sip
A sip
Or a spoonful won't do
Won't do nothing for you
Except mess you up"

And I hope
I hope
Hope you know what this means
I'm gonna give you everything
I'm gonna give you everything

amiina- Kurr

i am listening to this album again in the now infamous Kresge Computer Lab. I'm only come to call it infamous because it seems that i'm always really in love with the music i'm listenign to here and i always feel like telling you all and writing about it.

this album by Amiina, Kurr, is beautiful and peacful and I love it very much so. But thats not why i'm here. This album has a very special memory for me. It was the day I returned from thanksgiving break sophmore year of college. It was overcast, I'd just arrived at my porter apartment after a fast loud ride from foster city. I wasn't particularly amped, but i was pretty upbeat. I open my aprtment door and a cold, overcast day, and there is my housemate Alex S. sitting on the couch, with one light on in teh room, curtains closed, and theis record on. It literally was me hitting a brick wall. It was teh most peacful surreal thing i could have run into at that moment. the music was beautiful. alex was calm and happy. and he just told me to listen to the cd, and I did right there with him. It was so centering, it felt so right. It made my soul glow. It always bring me back to that cold, calm, quiet, dim room with alex. I recommend you this album if you enjoy instrumental music. If you enjoy Sigur Ros, of course, Eluvium, Stars of the Lid, and just about any otehr 'post rock', if you will.

http://rapidshare.com/files/29180194/Amiina_-_Kurr__2007_.zip

The spins make me feel like i'm floating in space

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Does anybody here else think its funny that we wrap electronics in leather?

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Riding a bike to 'Copia' by Eluvium feels like you're in a movie

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yes yes yes

the holiest of holiest reunions has happened! only god is to thank for this excellent moment that is upon us. and to be revealed at teh grammys too! how excellent that is. blink 182 my friend. i am totally goign and singing at teh top of my lungs and goign to mosh with a bunch of bros and girls. i am so excited. it was my childhood that never happened. thank you guys for wanting to make a shit ton of money and putting your differences aside.

Inaniel

this song by devendra banhart is one i often skip. its in between two of my favorite tracks on the record, let alone by this man. but something about it today, in the kresge computer lab hit me. i imagine a devendra, in a creepy, spooky, dark, green, swampy forest. he's in a a magicians rob of some kind, sitting cross legged playing his guitar, slightly swaying side to side. his eyes are closed but when they open at times, they are all white. he is frail, his hair dirty, his finger nails long. the words barely creep out of his crippled body, and its almost as if hes singing the song song he will ever sing. its dear to him and he doesn't want to let it go. the violin or vilola in the song you never see. i can't decide where it comes from. its crucial to the song, but i feel asa if the forest is making the noise, playing along with this old crippled man. his skin is pale and hes dead inside. when he stops playing the song he slowly dissolves into the ground. actually it happens as the last falsetto verse is sung.

new releases 09?!

so i am finding more and more '09 releases from artists i already know that i'm excited for.

obviously animal collective,
m.war
beirut
mirah
mono
vetiver

autolux finally????


i'm excited

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The onset of clouds absent for two weeks, calms and centers me again.

I like acting in slow motion with head phones on like i'm in a wes anderson movie

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dreams and thoughts

1) for the first time last night, I had a dream where i was flying. I simply made myself look liek a crucifix, and I was off, floating and flying around something that was remeniscent of Daly City. My friend emma was with me too, flying. While i was flying, I thought to myself that this must be real life and that people had always lied, saying that humans couldn't fly. I knew that there was no chance this was a dream. It was euphoric to say the least.

2) whiel i wa slockign up my biek this morning, I overheard people in a construction site talkign about football. who defense was better, who sucked, who was going to pull through in the end. and it hit me that, it was just like us talkign about musicians. or people talkign opera. or people talkign science. and that truly, no one is 'better' than the otehr. more intelligent. they just are different obsessions people have and like to talk about. sure you may need a degree to discuss multivariabel calculus, but in teh end, teh act of discussing somethign that is a hobby, or an enfactuation seems ratehr similar to me.

maybe i'm the only one, but just a simple thought can change my entire mood or outlook. i srated thinking about backpacking with friends in a couple weeks, and instanateously blam! here i am, back on my feet. weird.

ebay

i fucking love it. sold three items and made 60 bucks!!!! listed 4 more tonight. need to make more money before japan!!! here we go!

Merriweather Post Pavillion- 2nd Listen

ok, this is pretty tight, i'm pretty down. i'm still a bit dissapointed about the slowness of the record, even though i forgot to mention it before, its ok. i still kind of feel liek this album is on valiuum for the most part, way too much, its sitting behind a wall of production , and might be better rawer, but i think i'll change my opinion again. just what i'm more used to and what I go to them for.

Merriweather Post Pavillion- 1st Listen

ok, so i already basically have heard all of these songs, but their live recarnations, with different beats, lyrics, and effects. so i feel at first very uncomfortable in this house. its familiar, but different, like the same house but new colors, new furniture, somewhat.

what i'm struggling with most, are the effects on the vocals. i love noah's voice so much as just that with maybe some echo. but thus whole weird effect thing is just like... whjat!!!! for me anyways. i'll get used to it, its just not what i liek about him now.

its a bit offsetting. but i know that this is just because this is a change for me. so i'm goign to continue listening and i know my opinions will mold. but its like oil and water for the most part now.

and the production! oh my goodness. Unlike and other album! they do it again, they did it again! every album a different production quality. i'm really not fond of this processed electronic version (so far).




dismal first reaction, granted, but i'm just being stubborn, I think. lets go for asecond listen.


and oh my god teh bass beats!!!!! wtf!!!! man!!! so heavy hard!!